Dear Sammy Davis,
To be honest, no clue nor any recollection of your name. Then I saw you are a high school student planning on graduating this Spring. Which is crazy, because why do I have a high school student (that I don't know) as a friend on Facebook. Creepy. and that goes both ways, adding older men that you don't know of… tisk-tisk, what would your mother be saying if she knew you were trying to go after older boys. Don't get me wrong, I remember a lot of girls when I was in high school going after older ones but still, those were the un-legit ones. So stay in school and please don't be like Pink: Too school for cool.
Looking at your profile picture, I have no idea which one is the "real" Samantha Davis. So either you enjoy looking real angry for picture or you can't keep your tongue in your mouth. And I guess there is a possibility that you may be the third person in the back but that person looks like a dude, and well I hope your parents didn't give you a girls name as a boy. Cause that is the worst mistake a parent can do.. come on though, they don't even give their kids a chance when they give them weird names.
Keep on wishing young Sammy Davis.
Alastar Swift
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Facebook Friend #3
Dear Candy Rockwell,
I am truly disappointed that I have no recollection at all when or where I have met you. I'm almost positive you went to Winona, and I might add, maybe just maybe I met you at Phi Lam's? And I'm sure I was quite intoxicated and we all know, how that house party was. Get there at 8 - 8:30 ish and drink as much as we could before everyone got kicked out at 10:30. Stumble back, and wreck havoc in the dorm rooms. So that's my guess of how it all went down. I met you somewhere in those lines of a Typical Freshman Thursday Night.
It looks that you may have a son according to your profile picture. If I can read right, is he wearing a b-day shirt? I'll be the first, to wish him a very belated birthday and hope that he enjoyed all his presents. Hopefully the whole parenting world is going great, as I would not be a fan at the moment if I had a kid. Don't get me wrong it'd be sweet, but man… I know I'm just too young to be a father type. Anyways, I hope you aren't a single mother, because no one should have to tackle that alone. And if you are, I hope that jackass of a dad, trips on his candy bar wrapper and chips his tooth.
Enjoy the world of parenting and I hope he doesn't get stuck in the terrible twos.
Alastar Swift
I am truly disappointed that I have no recollection at all when or where I have met you. I'm almost positive you went to Winona, and I might add, maybe just maybe I met you at Phi Lam's? And I'm sure I was quite intoxicated and we all know, how that house party was. Get there at 8 - 8:30 ish and drink as much as we could before everyone got kicked out at 10:30. Stumble back, and wreck havoc in the dorm rooms. So that's my guess of how it all went down. I met you somewhere in those lines of a Typical Freshman Thursday Night.
It looks that you may have a son according to your profile picture. If I can read right, is he wearing a b-day shirt? I'll be the first, to wish him a very belated birthday and hope that he enjoyed all his presents. Hopefully the whole parenting world is going great, as I would not be a fan at the moment if I had a kid. Don't get me wrong it'd be sweet, but man… I know I'm just too young to be a father type. Anyways, I hope you aren't a single mother, because no one should have to tackle that alone. And if you are, I hope that jackass of a dad, trips on his candy bar wrapper and chips his tooth.
Enjoy the world of parenting and I hope he doesn't get stuck in the terrible twos.
Alastar Swift
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Facebook Friend #2
Dear Tiffany Cochran,
Thank you for making my friend count (+1) over the years, especially since I was the freshman kind that thought it was cool to have A LOT of friends… until I realized that I suck at remembering names and never got big on adding people. Anyways, I have sat here on my couch contemplating on when and where I had met you. You'd be upset as I have zero recollection of our first meeting, so I am going to guess that I met you freshman year, while I was intoxicated running from house party to house party. If I am wrong please correct me if you ever read this.
From your profile picture, it looks like you are married. That may be the reason I do not recognize your name, gotta' love the fact that women get to change their last names in that whole relationship deal. I hope the best for your marriage and that it doesn't end in divorce after 7 years like most. I personally, would not be that happy to get married at a young age, but good for you!
Farewell and have a safe journey,
Alastar Swift
P.S. - I understand that my wedding invite must have been lost in the mail
Thank you for making my friend count (+1) over the years, especially since I was the freshman kind that thought it was cool to have A LOT of friends… until I realized that I suck at remembering names and never got big on adding people. Anyways, I have sat here on my couch contemplating on when and where I had met you. You'd be upset as I have zero recollection of our first meeting, so I am going to guess that I met you freshman year, while I was intoxicated running from house party to house party. If I am wrong please correct me if you ever read this.
From your profile picture, it looks like you are married. That may be the reason I do not recognize your name, gotta' love the fact that women get to change their last names in that whole relationship deal. I hope the best for your marriage and that it doesn't end in divorce after 7 years like most. I personally, would not be that happy to get married at a young age, but good for you!
Farewell and have a safe journey,
Alastar Swift
P.S. - I understand that my wedding invite must have been lost in the mail
Monday, October 18, 2010
Facebook Friend #1
Adam Baier,
I am trying my best to remember when and where we have met. It looks that we both attended WSU about the same time, and maybe on one of my drunken adventures throughout Winona I may have introduced myself. But that is just a simple guess of my own, where it could be a whole different story coming from you. Well, according to your profile picture it looks as if you enjoy playing golf. I wish you godspeed on the golf outings that you may participate in and hopefully you will score that honorable eagle on your way to beating your friends on that dreaded par 5.
Until next time facebook friend, Farewell.
Alastar Swift
I am trying my best to remember when and where we have met. It looks that we both attended WSU about the same time, and maybe on one of my drunken adventures throughout Winona I may have introduced myself. But that is just a simple guess of my own, where it could be a whole different story coming from you. Well, according to your profile picture it looks as if you enjoy playing golf. I wish you godspeed on the golf outings that you may participate in and hopefully you will score that honorable eagle on your way to beating your friends on that dreaded par 5.
Until next time facebook friend, Farewell.
Alastar Swift
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